Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.
Soren Kierkegaard (1813-1855)

Saturday, 21 April 2012

De lo que te pierdes por el miedo a perder

Readers will now forgive me, for all the things that flow straight from the heart will come in the language of our early years, the years of innocence and dreams, so this post comes in Spanish. You can always use google translate to get the gist.

Hace tiempo que he descubierto lo mucho que me gusta ver el cielo, además de que ahora me resulta un ejercicio necesario, para revisar las condiciones meteorológicas y decidir mi outfit en caso de que tenga planeado salir. Verán, hoy en día no importa a dónde voy para decidir las prendas que voy a usar, lo que importa es cómo está el cielo. Si hay nubes, habrá que sacar el impermeable y las botas de lluvia, si hace viento habrá que enfundarse los guantes y ponerse una buena bufanda o pañuelo para cubrir el cuello (y sobre todo, habrá que agarrarse bien del manubrio), si hace frío los térmicos no deben faltar y si está soleadito podría atreverme a dejar en casa chamarra y sweater para aventurarme a sentir el viento en mi piel. Cuando recién llegamos a vivir aquí me preguntaba, ¿cómo fregados podremos vivir sin carro, cómo haremos el super, cómo llevaremos a los niños a la escuela en días de lluvia, cómo podremos ir a pasear a lugares más lejanos?... hoy pienso ¡de lo que me estaría perdiendo si tuviéramos un carro! Porque mi movilidad en York no depende del servicio de transporte público o de un automóvil, sino de mi bicicleta y mis piernas (y en ocasiones las condiciones del clima). Saber que mi propio impulso es lo que me mueve me hace sentir libre y feliz.

La libertad de movimiento no es el único descubrimiento de la vida en otro país, he descubierto que me gusta ser ama de casa.

Banana Cake by me
Siendo profesionista en día a día tuve como gran prioridad hacer bien mi trabajo. El trabajo de casa no era tan importante, atención, no confunda mi trabajo como mamá, sino las labores típicas de un hogar, que no es lo mismo. Para empezar que no tengo "casa propia" y el lugar en donde vivía era para estar de 7PM a las 8 AM del día siguiente, porque el resto del tiempo estábamos fuera, así que nunca había vivido la experiencia de ser ama de casa full time... y resulta que me gusta y soy buena en esos menesteres. Como paso la mayor parte del tiempo aquí en el hogar, me ha dado por explorar mis habilidades culinarias y el día que se me pega la gana abro Google, busco una receta, la leo y la adapto para hacer mis nuevas comidas. El poder crear algo que nos da esa satisfacción que sólo una buena comida hecha con todas las ganas puede dar es una maravilla de la vida, con decirles que me siento como Tita, la de "Como agua para chocolate". Cuando recién llegamos noté que no había microondas en esta casa y me dije "¿qué voy a hacer?"... hoy digo, ¡de lo que me perdía por usar tanto el microondas y que delicia es sentarse a comer despacio y con tiempo!

No todo es cocinar en esta vida, afortunadamente también hay otra ventaja de mi nueva vida aquí y se llama "tiempo libre". He iniciado un proyecto y estoy cultivando algunas hortalizas, es la primera vez en mi vida y me estoy apoyando en algunos libros y tutoriales disponibles en línea, hastaq sembré tulipanes y ya están floreciendo, maravillas de la naturaleza. Otro asunto del tiempo libre es que al ser estudiantes y tener un presupuesto limitado, decidimos que pagar una licencia de TV no era opción y comprar un aparatejo de esos estaba fuera de nuestro presupuesto. Los primeros días la sufrí, no sabía cómo iba a entretener a los niños y a mí misma en esos días de lluvia o los cortos días de invierno que duran tan poco y que son tan helados. Me quería arrancar los cabellos y comencé a buscar ofertas y opciones para hacernos de una TV... incluso unos vecinos me ofrecieron una un poco vieja pero funcionando, a lo que Ru contestó tajante que no. Yo me enfadé mucho, pero poco a poco se me fue olvidando, ¡para qué desgastarme por algo así! me decía a mí misma. Días después me enteré que existe en la ciudad un sistema de bibliotecas móviles que cada 15 días vienen a unas dos cuadras de mi casa, tramité la credencial y ahora cada 15 días mis hijos tienen 15 o 2o libros "nuevos" y yo saco un libro en cada visita. Cada noche leemos dos o tres cuentos diferentes, los que nos gustan mucho los renovamos y la emoción de volver al library bus es casi como ir a comprar juguetes, me ha sorprendido la reacción de mis hijos. No digo que ya no vemos películas o programas, claro que sí lo hacemos por medio del internet, pero sólo una hora al día y los viernes por la noche hacemos palomitas "a la antigüita" y le llamamos "hacer un cine". Es increíble cómo puede uno adaptarse tan pronto,  ¡que gran regalo me estoy dando a mí y a mis hijos, de lo que nos hubieramos perdido si nos hubieramos enchufado a la TV!

Los fines de semana son los días en los que toda familia se da el tiempo para hacer algo juntos, salir y divertirse. De principio veía en los folletos montones de lugares que están en las afueras de la ciudad y que ofrecen entretenimiento para los niños, lugares parecidos a lo que tenemos en Monterrey. Yo buscaba algún cine o teatro en la ciudad, pero me di cuenta de que no podríamos pagar los altos costos de ese tipo de diversión y me sentí un poco triste. La gente me decía "llévalos al Railway Museum" y yo decía ¿a ver trenes?, se van a aburrir. Pensé, ¿acaso pasaremos todo el tiempo entre la casa y el parque y ya? Eso fue al principio que no conocía la ciudad y que el sol se ocultaba a las 4 PM y ya se acababa el día... pero el día que decidimos ir al museo quedé maravillada y los niños no dejaban de sorprenderse al ver la gran colección de locomotoras, además ahí hicimos picnic y la pasamos muy divertidos, ya queremos volver a ir... y ahora en plena primavera, con las bicicletas y asientos para los niños, no hay quién nos detenga (bueno, sólo la lluvia, el granizo o el frío muy muy frío). Nuestro presupuesto sigue apretado, pero me las ingenio y hago mis buenas mochilas para picnic, preparo algunos sandwiches, cargamos agua, jugo, frutas y un montón de toallitas antibacteriales y su respectivo gel de manos. No hay nada que mis hijos disfruten más que un fin de semana de sentarnos a hacer un picnic, atrapar insectos y juntar ramitas, semillas y piedras. También se divierten dándole pan a los patos, yo soy feliz sentada en el pasto, aunque me moje el trasero por no haber llevado uno de esos mats tan populares entre los británicos que tienen mucho más experiencia en esto de picnics que nosotros. ¿Para qué buscar centros comerciales, cines, lugares de juegos electrónicos para niños, si la naturaleza ofrece tantas cosas divertidas? Claro que tenemos planes de visitar algunos lugares como Legoland o Thomasland, no dejamos de pensar que queremos ir de nuevo a Londres para visitar más museos, pero ya llegará el momento.  Hoy pienso en lo imposible que sería salir con esta tranquilidad en mi querida ciudad y agradezco estar aquí en una ciudad chica y segura, con un hermoso río y áreas verdes al por mayor.



Nada de lo que hoy disfruto hoy en día era costumbre en mi vida en México y hace días me puse a pensar por qué no lo hacía. Yo soy la misma persona, tengo la misma fuerza para pedalear aquí y en mi tierra, la misma capacidad de cocinar nuevas recetas aquí y en mi tierra, pero ¿qué me hace tener una mejor calidad de vida aquí que en mi tierra? No me queda más que pensar que la diferencia la hacen las instituciones, la infraestructura y la cultura social, porque estoy segura de que más de una familia gozaría vivir estas experiencias, vivir en una ciudad limpia, segura, accesible para las bicis, con áreas verdes bien cuidadas. En Monterrey no podría vivir lo que vivo aquí porque no es seguro asomar las narices y porque además no existen las mismas opciones (cómo llegar de mi casa a Chipinque en bicicleta con mi hijos montados en sus asientos sin considerarlo un acto suicida). Me reconozco afortunada porque tengo eso, opciones. Este cambio de vida ha sido un descubrimiento de cosas MARAVILLLOSAS que no había gozado en la vida. Vivimos al día, aunque no nos falta nada, gracias a que aplicamos al máximo nuestras habilidades de economistas (él de profesión, yo del hogar) . En esta ciudad no tengo nada material, ni casa, ni carro, ni trabajo, ni ahorros, es más, ni un juego de cubiertos decente (los que usamos son de plástico, por los niños) pero tengo tiempo para mi familia y algo que difícilmente se consigue con dinero: opciones y libertad... porque ese "no tener nada" me ha hecho más libre que nunca, eso no lo sabía y hoy digo ¡de lo que me había perdido por miedo a perder lo que tenía!

Seguiré disfrutando de esta utopía y en estos años espero encontrar una estrategia, una acción específica para poder llevar esto a mi tierra y poder compartirlo con otros. Todos debemos tener la opción de poder elegir una vida tranquila, libre y feliz y deseo que eso sea también una opción para ti y que elijas hacerlo.

Tuesday, 17 April 2012

French onion soup






One of my very favourite soups ever. Hope you enjoy it, I prepared this video to share this simple and tasty delight. It's funny, somehow I feel this soup is just like me: it takes the most basic and simple, rather peasant ingredients, that may seem simple at first sight... but given the right combination, patience, warmth and love, it offers one of the most delightful high-cuisine favourites. Amazing how something so lovely, savoury and sweet can result from something people identify as bitter. Shrek said that ogres are like onions, so I'm definitely ogre soup. I simply love it and it brings back good memories of younger years.

Bon appetit!

Monday, 16 April 2012

Love cycling... pure fun

My previous experience cycling had been 11 years ago, as a young and enthusiastic student living in Nottingham, doing a masters and enjoying life. Years have gone by, time has been relatively fair with me, but my energy is not the same. Still, my enthusiasm takes me back to the streets, this time with my kids, riding miles around the beautiful and quiet city of York. We had a rather weird day today. Left home with a semi-cloudy sky, chilly wind but still inviting for a nice family ride. After a while, feeling a bit exhausted, we decided to ride back and a hailstorm got us by surprise in the middle of an overpass... my older boy later told me "I though we were going to die mom, it was really hard". I wish I had had my camera with me, it was totally unexpected!!! I was still wearing my sunglasses when the hail hit us. Anyway, it just lasted for a few minutes, then we were back on trak, but my baby boy fell asleep on his seat behind me. We stopped for a few minutes, fit him comfortably and had a Kit Kat to get some energy. Ready to carry on and have our picnic, we headed north and then crossed the river and back south. We ended up in a Mall, a Designers' Outlet. We walked in, needed a warm place for a few minutes. I felt back home, on a typical Sunday stroll around the stores, and I realize how boring it is! I was really surprised about my reaction, I mean, back home I would have "begged" for a Sunday in the Mall, but now?... who cares? Well, I must also say I don't have the money to go shopping in any of the stores there... Hugo Boss, Ralph Laurent, Escada, Armani...
Anyway, the day was just perfect, we had a bit of everything. I also used my riding time to talk to those I don't talk to anymore, because they are away or gone... it feels good to "tell them" things that I didn't say face to face... it's a way to let go, my own therapy... I also had the opportunity to realize how wonderful nature is, how strong my body is, how fun cycling is... and the beauty of going anywhere with just grabbing the handlebar and pushing hard those pedals, to the point you feel your legs burning.... feel alive.

Saturday, 14 April 2012

Public secret love


Today Google's doodle celebrated Robert Doisneau's 100th birthday and I couldn't help but googling his archive. Beautiful images, naughty, spontaneous, sad and joyful... they all tell a story and make our imagination fly. This iconic picture particularly had always made me wonder how lucky he had been in capturing the right moment of love. Today I learned that this was no spontaneous picture, but a composition with some element of magic of course, but the couple, who were indeed a couple, did kiss under Doisneaus's request. I learned their relationship lasted only for 9 months, but their public show of love will last forever. When he was asked if he had photographed the couple without their consent, he answer:

"I would never have dared to photograph people like that. Lovers kissing in the street, those couples are rarely legitimate." Robert Doisneau. 1992

I guess he's right...

Saturday, 7 April 2012

Play Dough... all colors


It was Iñaki's idea to make this color, and it was so funny that you just have to watch the video... no need for comments here. I apologize to those who only speak Spanish or English, since we used both languages in the video. Disculpen que esté en ambos idiomas, somos unos pochos.

The recipe:
Powdery ingredients
200 grams of flour
100 grams of salt
2 teaspoon of cream of tartar (about 9 grams)

Liquid ingredients
300 mlt of water
1/3 tablespoon of cooking oil
natural food coloring

Note that I mixed all the dry ingredients first, then divided them into three equal parts.
I mixed the liquids and then divided them into three equal parts and used three different colors separately to get smaller amounts of different colors

Have fun!

Accidents happen... no matter how much we try to prevent them.

Iñaki's finger is now fully recovered. His nail grew back with marks that will soon disappear and he grows and everything will be just a point in time. Weeks ago, on that Friday evening right after finishing dinner it didn't seem that way. It was just my third day with a bike and I wanted to ride desperately, so I told Ru I would go to  the Library to get our York resident's card for the coming Residents' Weekend and enjoy the activities offered for free for those who live in the city. I left a bit before 5, quick stop at the Post Office and off to the Library. One hour later and I was back home fixing dinner. We all sat and had a nice meal, the kids had just finnished their servings and went to the living room to go back to their games. Ru and I were chatting, it seemed to be a nice Friday evening, until a loud cry made us jump out of our seats. Iñaki came with his hand covered in blood and a horror expression in his face that hopefully I will forget one day. I couldn't believe my eyes... I could see his bone exposed and flesh and blood. For a minute I didn't know what to do, and a second later I realized Rubén was not there anymore, I was holding Iñaki really hard, hugging him and saying in the calmest voice I could "don't worry, everything will be fine, we'll fix your finger". Our baby, Iker, was in shock and would only repeat "finger, what happened to his finger, his finger hurts mommy, my little brother..." I then realized we had to go somewhere, so I put on their sweaters and Ru entered the house with one of the porters, who helped us get a taxi and calmed us down. We rushed to the hospital, where I had to wait in the waiting area with Iker, not knowing what was going on and crying on my own. Then I had a thought and decided to call Zoe, Ru's housemate when he first arrive and now a good friend of ours. She was lifesaving, took a taxi and rushed to hospital to see how I was doing and helped me arrange the access to see my boy. She looked after Iker while I was in the guard, and the doctor arrived and checked his finger, Iñaki cried and screamed so loudly that all the whole hospital knew we were there. That night Ru and Iñaki stayed in hospital and I went back home with Iker. It was a truely long night. The next morning they were in Hull, a city about 40 minutes by car from York. To our surprise they were not aware of the reason they had been sent and had to waint until 6 PM to do the surgery. It was hard for me to simply wait, I left with Iker and we headed to the most remote area I could reach by bus, found a toys store and we bought some new action figures for Iñaki as a surprise. It was when we were there that Ru called me to let me know it was time to enter the OR. He cried, I cried... we didn't know what would happen. The next day they were back home, a week later I took him back to that city to be checked by a surgeon and then three visits from a nurse in our place completed the treatment, the rest was just wait and see. He's still very active but the nightmares of that day come back every other now and then, and those nights, we hug and comfort each other, I cry a bit, he tellsm me his "head" keeps going over and over what happened... then we say "it's over now, we just have to be careful" and then I feel thankful that my boy is doing fine.

Friday, 9 March 2012

Changes


So, life in York is radically different from our life in Monterrey. Every day is scheduled and we have alarms to remind us of everything. An alarm to wake up, an alarm for breakfast so we're not late and I make sure my boy's lunch box is ready. An alarm to leave for school, we usually walk so have to make absolutely sure we leave on time. An alarm to pick up Iñaki, to have dinner, to take a shower, for bed time stories and the final one to go to bed. Sometimes dad takes our oldest by bike, that's fun for both of them and gives me a more relaxing start. I cannot take my kids on my bike, we haven't found a child seat that suits my bike, one of the disadvantages of being really short in a country of rather tall people. Mondays, Iker's playgroup. Wednesdays Iker's toddlers group. Thursday coffee afternoon with our neighbours (organized by the Graduate Students Association). Fridays song box (a group of under-5s and parents where we sing and go fa la la la laaaa) and when dad can be home with the kids I head for conversation group in the evenings (my chance to talk about grown-ups things!!). So that leaves only Tuesdays free, and that's the day when we do whatever we want or just nothing special. I cook every day all the time, no take outs or dinning out, our budget is limited and I have to use all my economist skills to make sure we use our resources to the maximum. Grocery shopping is hard to believe... 100 GBP per week, most of the times we do it online and cannot get all the discounts we could if we went to the stores, but with no car is hard to bring home bulky or heavy things like potatos, onions, tins, juice and milk or even worse: eggs. Once I went to the supermarket on my bike and enjoyed it a lot, but it's now hard since my front basket is loose, need to fix it soon. Our total expenses are about 1,100 GBP per month with no other income but the scholarship and our savings. I have become a coupons collector and sales hunter... bought a second hand washing machine from some neighbours who were moving out and a brand new food processor on sale at Argos... there's nothing like doing the laundry at home and being able to explore new recipes and bring variety to our menu. I'm even starting to grow our own veggies and herbs (will post it separately, I'm documenting it all). Well, you can guess the pressure we feel. Having fun and going out has boosted our imagination. We go to free places and events, we bring sandwiches everywhere to save and we drink plain water (except for one time when we bought a soda) Only once we have been to a buffet and we went on the discounted rate hour. We don't buy books anymore, we use the library and the toy bus comes every two weeks with new toys to try for a couple of weeks. Last month we went to London and as much as we tried not to spend, public transportation is so expensive that we ended up paying more for moving around London than for getting there. Sometimes I have cravings but I end up cooking something close to what I want, every now and then I give me a treat, buy an éclair or a nice good ice cream tub, sometimes I take the bus to go to the city centre instead of walking... little things that might sound absurd to you. I do all that so that I can afford to do things like tomorrow. The University is organizing a trip to Liverpool to go to a premier league match: Everton vs. Spurs. My first premier league match ever. The bus and ticket to the match in special rate make it accessible for us. This is my third time living in this country and the very first one I go to a real match, I'm feeling really excited and  can't wait! Sunday will be another busy day. The University also organized a trip to an agricultural college just outside York, and the kids will have the opportunity to "meet" the new born lambs and they'll take us around the milking farm... lots of free activities for the kids, sounds exciting and entertaining. We're having a picnic there and at least other 10 families from our neighbourhood are coming, so I'm pretty sure we'll have a great time, starting from the trip in a shared bus. Life is good over here, we don't have to worry about crime, traffic, insecurity in general. There have been some cases of bikes being stolen in our area, we make sure ours are always locked. A minor problem with our neighbours next door (they're not a family, just two East Asian girls who are never home and have a mess in their patio and don't seem to care). All staff in my boys' school are kind and helpful, we have managed to make good friends with families from Japan, Turkey, South Korea, Jordan and Iran. Cannot complain at all, just the uncomfortable feeling of having a budget in pesos and expenses in sterling pounds. There's another thing hard for me... I've worked since I was 15. I've been active and have held roles that make me a decision maker, the one in charge, and now being a housewife has taken me to points of depression. I have set simple task that make me feel active and useful, but a job is actually what I long for. I see my boys and all the things that I can now do with them that I couldn't when I had a full time job... I sure like that, but something is missing. Of course there's also the money thing, you see I've always had money in my pockets not only for the basics, but also for a few vagaries... now thinking of that seems like pure vanity. Our little one has no place in pre-school yet, only the groups I take him to for a couple of hours per session and I have to stay with him, so it's hard to take on a job in such situation. Dad's job as a PhD students is demanding and full time, so there is no much chance to tell him to cover me for 4 hours a day to take a part time. I'm right now in the middle of a translation job for a client in Mexico, that is great because at least it's going to keep me busy for a few weeks, too bad I didn't bring my laptop with me and Ru has to share his whenever possible. Anyway, things will shape up, these are just our first months. I'm still doing my best.